Amongst the hustle and bustle of our daily routines are the constant demands from our friends and loved ones. If you are anything like me, you might suffer from people pleasing—well, I used to. Pleasing others requires a lot of time, effort and energy. While you are expressing your love, through assisting a friend with moving, giving someone a ride, babysitting your neighbor’s kids or spending quality time with family, you have most likely given away all of your power. Thus, you have nothing left for yourself. As a result, you are no longer capable of completing the tasks that you had on your agenda, which in turn leads to self neglect. Yes, I get it—you perform acts of service for those that you love. But, while you are out being everything to everyone, have you ever wondered, who loves you?
Think about the last time that the “needy” people in your life have added value. We must be conscience that once we surrender all of our energy, the trajectory of our life may trickle in a downward spiral. For instance, due to one’s daily physical and mental exhaustion, you may now begin to cut corners on essential lifestyle choices. You no longer prepare meals at home; instead, you opt to eat at restaurants that have drive-thru windows. You also may have stopped your exercise routine due your “hectic” (people pleasing) schedule or you may have even given up the things that bring you pleasure, such as a book club or socializing with friends. In addition, your home is in disarray and your health isn’t at its best.
Of course there is an easy solution to this situation, just say no. That’s right, not only do you have the right to say no, but you do not owe anyone an explanation, regardless of how they may feel about your decision. Don’t let your peers manipulate you into feeling guilty for setting aside time for yourself. It is okay to be selfish sometimes. Anyone who does not respect your personal space and time is not worthy to be in your life. Always remember, there is NO ONE more important that you. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be of any value to anyone else. If you begin to notice that your routine is changing due to the needs of others, it is time to take control and reclaim your power.
So, the next time you think about who’s loving you, the answer should be simple—you!