The wrath of love: learning, loving, hurting and healing

Compiling the precise amount of words to describe love well enough to do it justice is a task that is fit for everyone and no one at the same time. Words on their own are just never completely enough to really encompass what love with a partner truly is like, especially since it is so fluid and complex.

Scientific studies have tried classifying love into different phases and categories, but if you’ve ever fallen in love or experienced a relationship where love developed, trying to catalogue this complex emotion into black and white sections seems unnatural.

After growing up in a traditional Indian family, it has always been hard for me to understand this form of attachment, especially since my parents married not out of love, but because of family arrangements. Seeing any sort of affection or just hearing them say the words, “I love you,” was extremely strange to me and honestly hard for me to deal with, since I never understood how individuals could say such a powerful phrase yet still have the audacity to hurt each other. I have always asked myself this question: can we truly learn to love?

In many instances, I’ve seen success in learning to love someone, especially since arranged marriages are extremely common in the Indian culture and has been extremely common in my family. My aunt and my uncle are a perfect example of a successful marriage built off of this idea of learning to love. Last week marked their 24^th anniversary. As much as their success in love has helped me retain some hope growing up, I couldn’t help but be burdened by the fear that love could just dissolve away.

One of the biggest struggles with love at any tier is understanding how to cope if you’ve ever experienced a really heart-breaking split and/or loss, especially if the partner you were with transformed your original unexplored notion of love. Having to let that person go after reaching the realization that you love them can lead to some serious mental and emotional hardship.

Growing up, I already had pre-established fears regarding love, but after I experienced my first real heartbreak, that fear lodged itself so far into my heart, I became even more skeptical that love could retain success.

Love is never an easy task to simply “get over” as some people will suggest. Sometimes the biggest fear that a person might face is the constant worry of never finding a new love that will equate or overtake that original love.

Healing after a broken love line is a gradual process and it truly does take time to mend those wounds. As a person who is still growing and learning about the extent of love, sometimes I struggle to understand how people truly get through the mental hurdles that come with that level of attachment.

As scary as love may be, to see and experience love succeeding is hopeful, even for a damaged soul like mine. As someone who has feared love for most of their life and then experienced the burns that some loves will leave, I’ve discovered that fear and hurt should not strangle or destroy faith in love. Even in the murkiest situations, a light can shine in a dark place. To love once again is frightening yet rewarding, especially since, some loves can provide a sense of security that others could not fulfill.

Trusting someone to handle your love with care is an extremely difficult step to take, but as many people might agree, if the love flourishes in a way that can transform your life for the better, taking that step is worth it.

Source: BBC