While out one day, I met this attractive gentleman. As we began to have a conversation, I couldn’t help but notice how he smiled and spoke with a calm demeanor. I then realized and said to myself “I’m attracted to this man,” as I smiled back. This made me reminisce about my own happiness in past relationships and the different types of people and friendships that become a part of our lives and inner circle. It also took me on a trip down memory lane to my school years, as I remembered that there are two unique things about a circle – it is perfect, infinite, and never ending and there is no clear way to get out of the inside of it.
How are these unique attributes common to relationships? Relationships have the ability to make us feel like we are in a “love circle.” We constantly aim to remain inside of our love circle when we are satisfied and we seek to get out of it when we are unhappy. Because of our past experiences, we have learned that relationships are not perfect and are seldom “always” happy. However, if we have been in any type of relationship for any period of time, we also know how to aim for the best and put forth the necessary effort for a healthy and meaningful relationship. We must ask ourselves– how do we remain inside healthy relationship circles and how do we get out of those unhealthy circles without consequences that are harmful to our overall physical and mental health ?
I suggest, keeping a healthy balanced lifestyle that involves healthy relationship circles. This way, when dissatisfaction or unhappiness arises you have access to relationships that are supportive and beneficial. When there is a need to separate from one of your unhealthy circles there is no need to get outside of the circle permanently–right away. However, when there is a desire to end a relationship circle, you must develop a plan to get out of the circle with the least amount of damage to yourself, as well as your other relationship circles i.e. kids, in-laws, and mutual friends. A great start to your plan would be an attempt in participating in couple’s or marriage therapy, if you feel that this relationship circle is one that must remain intact in any aspect. Many people are afraid of couple’s/marriage therapy due to the accountability factor and realizing that the spouse or partner is not the only one at fault for the current dissatisfaction or unhappiness state. Counseling is strongly recommended to begin your exit or stabilization strategy with this as a major support.
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