The war of black womanhood and hair

One of the most interesting things about American society is our ability to hide. We act as terrorists towards each other behind our computer screens and smartphones. We cannot speak a kind word to one another while in an elevator or sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Yet, we choose to insult each other on social media for entertainment or to gain a “shock factor.” This behavior is simply disappointing and disgusting. What happened to our humanity? What happened to our respect for one another? Has social media really desensitized us to the point that we are willing to insult people we do not know without reservation?

Photo: madame noire

Here is an example of my distain. While at a house party watching the Super Bowl, Pam Oliver shows up on the television screen to give her report of the game, as she normally does. I was happy to see my “sista” flourishing in her career and doing a great job at what she does. However, the next day, I saw terrible Tweets about Oliver’s hair. Apparently, according to tweeters, she should have done a better job combing her hair. There was an Instagram picture of her beside Chubucka, who is the hairy creature from Star Wars. My mouth immediately dropped. I admit that in the past I have reposted several comical pictures associated with Beyonce or Scandal recaps, but I had to draw a line when it came to these pictures.  When I saw Oliver on television, her hairstyle was the last thing on my mind. Would we attack a white woman who wore her hair in a similar fashion? What about the men sports anchors who wear multicolored pimp suits? Yet, the black woman is subjective to superficial criticism on social media. Let us forget about the fact that she is a product of a famous HBCU (Florida A&M University), a college All-American athlete, and has worked in sports journalism for over 20 years. For some reason, we choose to denounce the fact that Pam Oliver is possibly the only woman of color to infiltrate into a male-dominated industry. We must remember that she paved the way so other women of color can become notable sports anchors. On Super Bowl Sunday, her face was seen in over a million living rooms across America. Unfortunately, my black brothers and sisters felt compelled to criticize her fashion instead of applauding her hard work. It represents how patriarchy continues to reign in our community and we still uphold black women to Eurocentric beauty standards. Oliver is a career woman, yet as a black woman, she is judged based on her looks.

I am sure that the actions of insensitive people hurt her, but Pam Oliver responded to the ignorance by explaining how difficult it may be to keep her hair “together” all the time. In her response, she explained that her hair may look a certain way for several reasons. Not only does she do her own hair and makeup, she works in a high energy environment where she is running after athletes and coaches trying to get a statement, not to mention she is also working outside! My question to Pam is, “Sis, why are you explaining yourself to these haters?” I find it interesting that she feels the need to explain herself to individuals who have absolutely no idea what it takes to be successful in her career. Most people cannot get off the computer or smartphone long enough to get a meaningful occupation.  They are sitting at jobs they hate and wishing for their lives to start over. These people have not figured out what they want to do with their lives. However, they criticize individuals like Pam Oliver. Let me make one thing clear: Pam Oliver is living her dream. She has taken charge over her life and is reaping the benefits, while those individuals criticizing her are sitting in their living rooms waiting for their lives to actually start.

The moment I heard the criticism of Oliver, I immediately thought of the response to Gabby Douglas’ hair. Similar to Pam Oliver, black people were criticizing her hair style, even after she won an Olympic medal in gymnastics! She was recognized on a global stage, yet we want to criticize her for not wearing a weave and putting pins in her hair. The image of black womanhood continues to be marginalized and ridiculed. We have attempted to make strides to identify ourselves outside of those negative stereotypes of the Mammy, jezebel, Sapphire, and welfare queen. Now that we actually have positive images of black womanhood, we attempt to shun them through our social media outlets. Perhaps our criticisms of these phenomenal women simply reflect our own self-hate. It is not necessarily about them; they are merely the representation of what black women are ashamed of. It is really about black women rejecting their authentic selves outside of the “mask” we attempt to put up.

Douglas and Oliver could be everyday women walking around in Target. However, other black women will find any reason to criticize them because they are still trying to find a way to love their own bodies. Black women with locs criticize women that wear weave, while women who wear the “creamy crack” look down on the “sista” who is in the mist of transitioning to natural hair. All this ridicule we have for one another is simply masking a larger issue—we still have not figured out how to love our authentic selves and how to respect others. We determine beauty based on standards that do not apply to all women. The assumption is that women in the media should “look a certain way” in order to avoid further ridicule from other people. Yet, black women are the ones criticizing other black women. We created a war with one another assuming that those of another race will eventually join. Ironically, no one from another race has said anything about Gabby Douglas’ hair or Pam Oliver’s weave. Regardless of how you look at this situation, it is very disturbing that the hurtful commentary is coming from other black women.

When we see these women it is not about them; it is really about us. The argument is that we “would not want our daughters out there looking like her” because she could possibly be subjected to ridicule for looking the way she does. Black women are always concerned with how “others” will view us. Pam Oliver was not disrespected because of her job, but because she “did not do a great job in representing all black women.” However, we fail to realize that Oliver and Douglas are everyday black women doing extraordinary things.  Please understand that Oliver and Douglas took risks in their careers, allowing them to become iconic figures within America. They represent the forward strides African-American women are making in the 21^st century. These women are a part of our history. Yet, we criticize our sisters thinking that we are saving them from ridicule. Unfortunately, we are really hurting them and one another as we continue to perpetrate the ongoing war black women have with one another. We have got to stop hurting each other because at the end of the day we are only demoralizing black womanhood.