You know the lyrics of the well-known Christmas song by The Emotions, “tis the season to be jolly, but how can I be when I have nobody?” This is a question that many of us ask ourselves as the holiday season approaches.
During a time of cheer, laughter, family gatherings and mistletoe, it is no wonder why some single individuals can’t help but to feel uneasy about the holiday season; especially Black women, since we are constantly reminded that our chances of marriage are slim to none. Christmas can also be a difficult time for those who must be away from their spouses during the most wonderful time of the year.
So, how do we make it through Christmas without those unpleasant emotions? Stay away from your family members that make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. You know the relatives I am referring to; the ones that love to tell you what time is displayed on your biological clock, thus informing you that it is time to get married. Or the underachieving female relative that finally brought a man to the holiday feast and is now rubbing him in your face. If it is difficult to stay away from these family members, just try to keep the conversation short, change the subject, or politely walk away when they begin to enter your personal territory.
Always take some time for yourself, away from your loved ones, to reflect on your blessings and all of the wonderful things that you have to be thankful for. Do not beat yourself up over the things that are out of your control. When your mind is full of negative thoughts, it is easy to give into those feelings of loneliness. As a result, you may end up sleeping with the single man that your cousin invited over to Christmas dinner just because he smiled at you across the table (please don’t be that girl).
Remember your worth and that you are not desperate for just any individual. Remind yourself that you are not defined by the people you have in your life or the people you don’t. So, the next time you see someone kissing underneath the mistletoe or at the stroke of midnight, smile and keep in mind that it is better to be single than to be in an undesirable situation. After all, your prince may be kissing you under that same mistletoe next year.
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