When I started to question my black skin-part 1

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Hi I’m Dr. Ebony David Ambrose. I’m a college graduate with a dual degree in English and Business, with a minor in Africana Studies. Africana Studies was not always my favorite subject, but through time I realized its importance in my life, especially as an African-American woman who wants to be successful in America—where race and gender matter. Now I’m at the ripe age of 34. I own 3 businesses and teach English and Africana Studies at the collegiate level. I know you might be saying you go Black Woman! The truth is, I wasn’t always a strong black woman. If you would have told me 15 years ago I was going to be so successful, I wouldn’t have believed it. I know I had the confidence and will power to be successful when I graduated from high school, but I always asked myself if I was strong enough. I thought life had a different “lesson plan” for me! I will give you a quick view into my life and my black skin.

When my father and mother got pregnant with me they were in high school. My grandfather and grandmother were both college graduates. My grandfather was embarrassed of my father and told him he had two choices. The first one was to leave his house and go take care of his new family, because he wasn’t going to take care of “a mess.” The second choice was that he could have left us in the cold, leaving my mom to be a single mother, and my Grandfather would have given him all the opportunities to be a successful man. My father chose us. My father worked three jobs to take care of his family and also sent my mom to college. My mom became a successful school teacher after earning her degree. Then my father followed her footsteps and went to college to become an engineer. I also have a younger brother, and the one place I know my parents were going to make sure we went was to someone’s college! They knew what a good education could do for anyone, but especially for an African-American woman and man.

My enrollment in college was understood; it was going to happen regardless of what I wanted, or thought I wanted anyway. When I started college it was a life character building process that made me question my skin color. How so you ask? I would like you guys to see and understand my life and my blackness. I’m a 5’10″ beautiful, dark skinned woman with shoulder length hair who’s very smart—at least I think so. I notice that 99% of the world has a problem with this. If you allow me, I would like to take you through a series of stories that built my character, strength, and will power so that I would never give up at anything…here is my story.

One day, while meeting with the Dean to speak with him about my graduation status, I had a feeling something would go wrong. You see, I already knew I was at the top of my class and should be given the title of class valedictorian and that only one of my peers could challenge me—the school’s most popular and outspoken student, Brittney Stewart. Brittney had a lot of influence on her peers; she also had influence on the faculty. Her parents were big donators to Blackman University; the HBCU that we attended. In the university’s eyes, Brittany was royalty, and she knew this and made sure to use it to her advantage for everything. I competed with Brittany my entire college career and she has always had a silent upper hand on me because of her “status.” Brittany is a 5’10, high yellow, longhaired, beautiful black woman who can charm a snake charmer. The thing that Brittany and myself didn’t know about this morning is that this meeting was about to change our lives. While walking into the Dean’s office, I was informed that he, Dean Maxwell, had to go to Africa to work on an important archeological find. All I could say to myself was that this couldn’t be happening! Graduation was just a few weeks away and I needed to know who was going to decide on the final vote for valedictorian. The administrative assistant in the office informed me that Dr. Rachel would be replacing Dean Maxwell and that she will be making the final vote. I was instructed to have a seat because she was waiting on another student who needed to be in our meeting. As I went to sit down, I knew who the second person was, but wondered what was really going on. Then I heard click clacking from high hills hitting the floor; oh Lord, it’s Brittany Stewart. She walked in acting like she didn’t see me. When she asked for Dr. Rachel you should have seen how the assistant treated her MUCH differently from me. She said, “Hello Brittany! What a pleasure to finally meet you. I am such a fan of yours. When you were on the homecoming court I thought you made the most beautiful queen!” I thought to myself–here we go again!

After meeting the assistant, Brittany asked her what her name was.  The whole time the assistant was just gawking.  I mean she was glorifying Brittany, which of course flattered her very much.  After she finished letting Brittany know how great she was, she finally introduced herself. “I’m Lisa Doppler!”  Brittany then said, “Well Lisa, I’m guessing you voted for me to be the class of 2014’s valedictorian?” They were talking as if I was not even here.  Lisa even reached over the desk to whisper in Brittany’s ear to tell her she had indeed voted for her, which was not much of a whisper. I could no longer hold it in; I shouted, “Excuse me! I’m right here!”  As Ebony got up to continue to express her concern, Brittany shouted, “I knew you were going to be here!”  Ebony looked at her and asked, “Why wouldn’t I be here? I have every right to find out at the same time as you, who will be valedictorian since I am in the running too!”  As Ebony continues to walk up to Brittany, Brittany shouts “Let’s be real Ebony, do you really think you have a chance to be valedictorian up against me? It will be the same results as usual. When you go up against me at anything–you will lose!”  As Brittany proudly ran her hand through her hair, Ebony says, “That’s where you are wrong!  This time it will be different. It will not be about your social status or charmingly good looks that you use to entice the boys to vote for you for homecoming queen, or even the professors that you sleep with to get your grades!”  Brittany and the assistant look in awe.  Brittany looks at Ebony and says “I would expect that from a classless young lady such as yourself, but that is where you are wrong Ebony. Social status is always the main issue; I would have thought you’d learn that by now.  Just when the conversation was getting more heated, Dr. Rachel, the Dean, enters the room.  “Is everything okay? I can hear you ladies all the way in my office.”  Brittany says, “We are okay Dr. Rachel. Ebony and I are just so excited about graduation.” Dr. Rachel states, “I am also very excited for your soror!”  Brittany gets excited that the Dean has acknowledged her as “soror” and was asked to calm down. As Dr. Rachel gets Brittany to get her composure back, she turns towards Ebony.  Dr. Rachel tells Ebony to “excuse” her outburst and asks that both she and Brittany step into her office.